1. You have to be against capital
punishment, but support abortion on demand.
2. You have to believe that businesses create depressions and
governments create prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans
are more of a threat than Nuclear weapons technology in the hands of
Iranians and North Korean communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by
soccer moms driving SUV's.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being
homosexual is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of
federal funding.
8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach fourth
graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about
sex--in the face of all the cases of teacher sex abuse of children in
the news.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony
activists who have never been outside of New York, Boston, San
Francisco, or Portland do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually
doing something to earn esteem.
11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own
money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts
of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain
parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too
high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more
important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and
Alexander G. Bell.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
quotas and set-asides are not.
16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in
charge and not enough money was spent on its programs.
17. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail,
but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.
18. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and in a normal
marriage.
19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying transvestites
in drag should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at
Christmas should be illegal.
20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the
Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.
21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast,
right-wing conspiracy.
22. You have to believe that it's OK to give Federal workers the day off
on Christmas Day but it's not OK to say "Merry Christmas."
Ready to vote?