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Stella Awards
It's
time again for the annual 'Stella Awards'! For those unfamiliar
with
these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck
who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the
McDonald's
in New
Mexico where she purchased the coffee.
You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between
her
knees while she was driving. Who would ever think one could get
burned doing that, right?
That's right; these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits
and verdicts in the U.S. You know, the kinds of cases that make
you scratch your head. So keep your head scratcher handy. These
are also the people that vote in this country!
Here are the Stella's for the past year:
7TH PLACE:
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a
jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a
toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The store
owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering
the running toddler was her own son.
6TH PLACE:
Carl Truman, 19, of
Los Angeles
, California won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor
ran over his hand with a
Honda Accord.
Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel
of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.
Go ahead, grab your head scratcher.
5TH PLACE:
Terrence Dickson, of Bristol , Pennsylvania, was leaving a house
he had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for
Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he
could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't
re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the
house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for
eight, count 'em, EIGHT, days on a case of
Pepsi
and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's
insurance company claiming undue mental an guish. Amazingly, the
jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for
his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish.
Keep scratching.. There are more...
4TH PLACE :
Jerry Williams, of
Little Rock,
Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the Stella's when he was awarded
$14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by
his next door neighbor's beagle - even though the beagle was on
a chain in its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get as much
as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have
been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had
climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog
with a pellet gun.
Grrrrr ... Scratch, scratch.
3RD PLACE:
Third place goes to Amber Carson of
Lancaster
, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant
to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink
and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the
floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds
earlier during an argument. What ever happened to people being
responsible for their own actions?
Scratch, scratch, scratch. Hang in there; there are only two
moreStellas to go...
2ND PLACE:
Kara Walton, of
Claymont,
Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because
she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her
two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak
through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover
charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000....
oh, yeah, plus dental expenses.
Go figure.
1ST PLACE : (May I have a fanfare played on 50 kazoos please)
This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was Mrs.
Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased a new
32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home from an OU
football game, having driven onto the freeway, she set the
cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go
to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich.. Not
surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and
overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs.. Grazinski sued
Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual that she
couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise
control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting
down, $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually
changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case
Mrs.. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor
home.
Are we, as a society, getting more stupid...or what?
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