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"Conspiracy"
We
Must Stop This
Have you ever noticed that when you're of a certain age,
everything seems uphill from where you are? Stairs are steeper.
Groceries are heavier. And, everything is farther away. Yesterday
I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long
our street had become!
And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the
young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them
to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly
mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face!
What do they think I am, a lip reader?
I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age.
On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am.
I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much
that she didn't even recognize me!
I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my
hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own
refection........Well, REALLY NOW ......... even mirrors are not
made the way they used to be!
Another thing, everyone drives so fast today! You're risking
life and limb if you just happen to pull onto the freeway in front
of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully
fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view
mirror.
Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else
would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or
20? Do they think no one notices that these things no longer fit
around the waist, hips, thighs, and bosom?
The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank,
but in reverse. Do they think I actually "believe" the number I
see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much!
Just who do these people think they're fooling?
I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going
on -but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've
printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever
find a number in here!
All I can do is pass along this warning: Maturity is under
attack! Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon "everyone"
will have to suffer these awful indignities.
PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO
WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED! PS: I am sending this to you
in a larger font size, because something has caused fonts to be
smaller than they once were too!
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