Marriage 101

 

EPHESIANS 5:21-33

 

21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-- 30for we are members of his body. 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

While getting married takes only a few minutes, being a good husband takes a lifetime. God places a premium on a husband’s role, and Paul emphasized that fact by giving the Ephesian men a short course in being better husbands.

Unfortunately, some men and women who read Ephesians 5:22-33 get sidetracked on Paul’s instructions concerning wives’ responsibility to submit to their husbands. Such people make the critical mistake of overlooking verse 21: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Marriage requires mutual submission, an attitude that doesn’t always come naturally.

It’s in that context that Paul tells husbands they’re to provide their wives with leadership. Not a heavy-handed, domineering, “I’m the boss!” kind of leadership. But the kind of leadership Christ exercises over the church - servant leadership (see Phillipians 2:3-11) This powerful image shows the degree of commitment that God requires of husbands. As Christ gave his life for the church, so husbands are to give their lives for their wives and are to always put their wives’ needs before their own. In that context of such leadership, following becomes a delight.

Godly leadership begins with a servant’s heart. That servant attitude runs the gamut from the daily issues of basic housework and child care, the major issues such as seeking her opinion first when new career opportunities arise. Take a minute to reread this passage and think of some specific, concrete ways you can be a servant to your wife. Determine that, by the grace of God, your love for her will emulate Christ’s complete and sacrificial love for the church.