Grace Emmanuel Church
Pastor Sam Chess
"Steps To Forgiveness"
Forgive! Forgive everyone! Wise words from an old,
dying man…
It's more than just wise words…it's part of a
Biblical principle that, daily, affects every single one of our
lives.
Q: Is there anyone in the fog of your past
who hurt so you deeply that you have not ever been able to find the
grace to forgive them?
Have you ever had the experience of
meeting someone and taking an immediate dislike to them… there was
something about their personality or actions that rubbed you like
sandpaper… later in quiet reflection you are startled into the
awareness that the reason you found that person so offensive was
because they reminded you of someone in your past…someone who hurt
you deeply…
Have you ever been part of a
conversation and had some, seemingly, random topic come up… and your
response is strong, immediate, very negative, perhaps even
viscous…your friends are left to try to sort out who-said-what
wrong…. later in quiet reflection you are startled into the awareness
that the reason you found that topic so offensive.. was because it
took you back in your memory to a place you didn't ever want to visit
again…
I.
We are all products of the life journey we have
traveled… Our experiences shape us/ people shape us… there is no way
around that…
But our reaction to those experiences will
determine whether we are:
Bitter or Better! (Jim McKeegan)
Two people can go through very, similar, painful,
life trials… one can come out victorious, positive, strong… "better".
The other person can come out of the same kind of life trial… full of
rage, confusion, hatred and bitterness…
Why is that? _________________________________
I'm not going to pretend to fix everyone's psyche
today. I'm not a "shrink"…I'm a Pastor. The issue I am addressing
today is not psychological…it's theological.
Here's a single, powerful, word that will
literally shape your daily life, your personality, your life
effectiveness, and even your eternal destiny.
Forgiveness!
______________________________________________________________________
Point 1…
I. Forgiven by God
We spent last Sunday and two Wednesday evening
exploring what God's forgiveness means to us…and we have to
understand that thoroughly or we will not get the point of today's
sermon.
We followed the unfolding of God's forgiveness
from animal sacrifices in the Old Testament covering people's sin to
the final sacrifice of Jesus dying on the cross, as payment for the
penalty of our sins in the New Testament.
Colossians 1:13-14 For he has rescued us from
the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son
he loves, 14 in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.
(NIV)
No more covering sin with the blood of sacrifices.
When Jesus died on the cross for your sins and rose from the dead…
defeating sins power in our lives…. he opened the door for our sins
to be forgiven and forgotten. That's what we found in New
Covenant/ Testament forgiveness…. Jesus death paid the penalty for
our sins and he offers to erase our sins…remove them as foar from us
as the east is from the west…
Ephesians 1:7-8 He is so rich in kindness
and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and
forgave our sins. 8 He has showered his kindness on us, along
with all wisdom and understanding. (NLT)
1) You can't earn God's forgiveness… you can
only accept it
2) The price to redeem you was paid in full long
before you were born
3) There is nothing you can physically do to make
you more save-able to Jesus
4) He promises to erase/cancel your debt of sin…
if only you will ask him…
________________________________________________________________________
We could hear that message everyday and it still
wouldn't be enough! But there is something odd here… We can bask in
receiving God's forgiveness…but sometime when we turn to pass his
forgiveness on to others… we hit a wall…
Toward the end of last Wednesday evening's Bible
study we transitioned from God's forgiveness of us to our forgiveness
of others…and several people commented, to me, that it was like a
sober-ness blanketed the room…
God makes it very clear that when Jesus paid the
penalty for our sin we were "lost" in our sins. There was nothing in
us that was attractive to God… we were all filled with our rebellion
and sin. Remember on the cross when Jesus took our sins on himself
and "became sin for us" …the Father had to turn away from Jesus
because the pure heart of God was so repulsed by the sins on
mankind.. all of here have experienced God tender pursuing grace and
all the while… rebelling and pushing God's grace right back in his
face.
The point I'm making is…when God came loving us…we
weren't all that lovable!
When God's paid for our redemption we weren't very
redeemable!
When he extended us complete forgiveness we
weren't very forgivable!
________________________________________________________________________
The God who forgave you unconditionally has
some very strong expectations in how he expects you to respond to
other people!
It make sense…it makes logical sense… and theo-logical
sense… that a God who pours unlimited forgiveness in the direction
of those whose sin repulsed him….. would expect in return for us to
be equally forgiving of those who's sin repulses us.
Ephesians 4:30-32 And do not bring sorrow
to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified
you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of
redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words,
and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be
kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as
God through Christ has forgiven you. (NLT)
Pastor… you have no idea how badly I've been
sinned against.
No...I don't… For thirty years… I've heard people
pour out their pain…and I can't fully understand what I've not,
personally, experienced… but I do understand that even in a group
that is as cheery as you all… there lies buried mountains of painful
memories.
Believe it or not…even in my "charmed" pastoral
life… there lies deep pain in my past.
I shared a little bit Wednesday evening of
something I really have never talked about publicly before. I spent a
lot of years as a contractor as well as a Pastor and the world I
lived in was rough and rugged. I received my contractor's license on
my 18th birthday so I literally finished growing up in that
environment. I was expected to take a hard hit, roll with it, come up
with a smile.
I took hits, lots of them, hard hits. At age 22
our first home was repossessed. One of my high school friend's became
a deputy sheriff, and it was he who was sent out to repossess our
car….and that was just one three month period.
In my world you didn't stop to think about who had
hurt you. There was always tomorrow… no use crying over spilled milk.
It didn't occur to me that I was crying on the inside.
Let me pause, here, and show you something that spoke to me this
week…
________________________________________________________________________
"
He failed in business in '31. He was
defeated for state legislator in '32. He tried another business in
'33. It failed. His fiancé died in '35. He had a nervous breakdown in
'36. In '43 he ran for congress and was defeated. He tried again in
'48 and was defeated again. He tried running for the Senate in '55.
He lost... The next year he ran for Vice President and lost. In '59
he ran for the Senate again and was defeated. In 1860, the man who
signed his name A. Lincoln was elected the 16th President of the
United States. The difference between history's boldest
accomplishments and its most staggering failures is often, simply,
the diligent will to persevere." (and forgive)
I find people like Abe so inspiring. If you read
his life you know there was a truckload of pain inflicted on him by
other people…yet he became a man who changed history and maintained a
righteous, Godly attitude.
________________________________________________________________________
A few years ago, I came face to face with a lot of
what was buried inside me. I was talking to a friend of mine, who is
a counselor, and he got me to relate to him some of the painful
memories in my life. I told him about some specific people who had
done me wrong and he finally said… you hate them don't you?
I was stunned…he was right… and I was a Pastor,
teaching other people all about loving the unlovable people in their
lives, and I had buried bitterness and hatred!
Healing finally came…but before it came, I had to
forgive:
Forgiveness - the act of setting someone free
from an emotional debt to you, that is the result of wrong/sinful
actions done to you.
Let me bring back a statement from last Sunday's
message…
Forgiveness is abnormal behavior for sinful
humans, apart from God!
But for the Christian this is not a multiple
choice issue! Jesus is very strong in his wording about our
forgiveness of others.
Mark 11:24-25 I tell you, you can pray
for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be
yours. 25 But when you are praying, first forgive anyone
you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will
forgive your sins, too.” (NLT)
Luke 6:37 “Do not judge others,
and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all
come back against you.
Forgive others, and you will be
forgiven. (NLT)
I don't think this is teaching us that God's
forgiveness, to us, is conditional…we have seen Scripture, in so many
other places, that clearly says it is not… I think what Jesus is
saying is that if you don't forgive other people… it will lead to so
much additional sinning in your own life.
When we carry around un-forgiveness, bitterness,
hatred… on the inside, it can lead to sinful actions on the outside….
Often, a short temper, over-sensitivity, a critical spirit, etc., on
the outside…. is a barometer of un-forgiveness on the inside.
Doesn't time heal all wounds? ___________________
NO!
But our marching orders are clear:
Colossians 3:12-17 Since God chose you to be
the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with
tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13
Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone
who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must
forgive others. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which
binds us all together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace that
comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you
are called to live in peace…
Conclusion: Steps to Forgiveness
I've summarized this list of seven…to make them
sound like seven easy steps…they are not easy…but they are possible…
and they are part of God's command to every Christian!
1) Recognize that you have been fully and freely
forgiven by God
2) Pinpoint those people in your life that you
haven't equally forgiven
3) Release those people from the debt owed by
their offenses
4) Accept those person for who and what they are,
just as they are
5) Release them from the responsibility to meet
your expectations
6) Ask God to show them, to you, as His tool in
releasing grace to you.
7) Make reconciliation…if possible
